Learning to Lead from the Passenger Seat

Even when it's an Adventure-Fantasy-Romance-Tween novel

Last week, I wrote about lessons I’ve learned from my 16-year-old son. Today, I want to expand on how my kids—yes, all of them—are quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) shaping me into a better leader. I’ve got plenty of examples, but this one’s a little quirky.

In previous articles, I’ve emphasized the importance of reading for anyone who wants to grow as a leader. There’s no better way to see the world through someone else’s eyes than by reading their words. Books offer more than actions; they provide context, emotions, and internal struggles. Through them, you can explore lives that are vastly different from your own, relive key moments in history, or travel to places you may never set foot in. For me, the real value lies in learning to find common ground with people whose life experiences I’ll never fully understand. I often ask others what their favorite book or podcast is, especially if they come from a background that’s unfamiliar to me. Then I read, listen, and learn. I’ve consumed a large share of leadership books and military history for that reason.

But when you live out in the country and drive your kids nearly 30 minutes to school every day, music gets old fast. They’re not interested in self-help books or historical biographies, so I started looking for something we could enjoy together. That’s how I found myself deep in the world of action-fantasy-romance-teen novels. My 13-year-old daughter lives for them. If you don’t know what that genre includes, think Twilight or A Court of Thorns and Roses. I have listened to what feels like months’ worth of audiobooks involving vampires, fae, werewolves, shape-shifting dragons, and strong-willed teen protagonists navigating love triangles while saving the world.